Pictures

Well I thought I would post some pictures since I haven´t done that in awhile. I actually haven´t posted anything in awhile...ooppss!! A lot has happened...car accident, moved (again!), dated two boys (still on the second one and no we are not boyfriend/girlfriend yet), turned 30!!!!! and alot inbetween. So here are some pics for all of you.

Here I am with my sister Megan and bro Mike in Santa Monica, California.

Here I am with my cousin Stacia and her cute kids.

This my dear nieces Abby and Mkensie. I love them SO much!! Abby turned 5 this year and that is unbelievable!! And of course their darling mother, my sister Mariah.

Dinner with my Mom, Aunt Lori, Gramama and my cousin Marissa. My brother Matt was also there but since he took the picture I later took a picture with him. A wonderful two days in Boise during Christmas 2009.

Here I am with my Latina family, The Ramos family. Love them tons!!! This was January 2009.

Here I am with friends after the David Archuleta concert.

This is a good picture of my cute hair cut. I was going to a formal dance for church.

Here I am with Adriana in Antigua during semana santa. We went super early in the morning!!

And here I am turing 30!!! It was a great day that ended with friends and burgers. Jorge, Rosi and Vinicio!! Later the family I live with, Vinicio´s family, got me a cake and we celebrated by blowing out 30 candles!!!

Say Anything

January 20, 2010
I love John Cusack! He plays such awesomely quirky guys and in “Say Anything” he plays a girl´s guy. Let me explain that. In this movie there is a role reversal. Instead of the girl chasing the guy and getting her heart broken it is the guy. Sometimes I wonder if what we saw truly happens. I mean on the girl´s end it´s all true. We cry over the guy and talk about it with our girlfriends and hope that things can change. But do the guys cry as well and have doubts? I haven´t been as persistent as him but maybe I could be. Maybe that is the trick. Show them you really want to be with them and “there” for them. Is that what they need? The girl was such a guy in this movie. Telling him that she loved him but wanting to end it. Made me laugh. And it was also her that brought them back together, even though it was because of a family tragedy. Well not so much a tragedy as a problem. All in all I just love John Cusack and all the characters he has ever played. Also the music is always great. Cameron Crowe really knew what he was doing in writing this movie. He always knew, in all his movies, how to get to the basic truth of whatever theme he is writing about. In the end Diane says “Nobody really thinks it will work” and Lloyd says “You just described every really great success story.” I think that is the truth of it all. We never know if it´s going to work, whatever we may be doing be it school, work, or relationships. But if we try hard and follow our gut feeling then it will end in a success. What a great movie that gives us insight into ourselves and the other gender and also into our personal endeavors.

Sydney White

January 19, 2010
I´ve watched this movie many, many times and loved it more each time but now I have a new found appreciation. It´s so wonderful to be doing this new blog thingy for me because I´m learning new things for myself in a fun way, especially since I love to watch movies. Tonight I watched “Sidney White” a modern day take on the old Snow White fairytale. It had all the normal fairytale elements like pretty girl meets charming “Prince” and evil witches and dorky sidekicks but this version had more, at least for me. It teaches a strong lesson about believing in yourself and being yourself. So many times in the course of our life we try to change who we are because of what others believe the best of us is. Well I have learned time and time again, and what this movie truly teaches us, that being ourselves is the best we can be, no matter what others think. Yah we all have our faults, our “ugly” parts, but that shouldn´t matter because when we are liked for who we are the best of us always comes out strong. Like a butterfly. It doesn´t start as the pretty insect that we see right before it dies, no, it starts as an ugly caterpillar. A creature that many people kill because they don´t know what it will grow up to be in a very short time. How would we feel if someone tried to squash us before we could blossom into the beautiful being that we can be with a little time, patience and hard work? Well, honestly, people do squash us, a lot. That is sad to say but so true. All my life I was pushed down, led to believe that I was not as pretty, smart, or likeable as others. Now that really does a number on a girl´s self-esteem. Heck I had the worst self-esteem because I believed what everyone told me. Even now there are some that can´t even see that it happened and think I have lots of issues. Well I do have issues that I work through everyday. Like I said it was a lifetime of hurt and it will take a lifetime to overcome but I am a long way from where I was 10 years ago. And a lot of that has to do with the message of this movie. I tried to always “fit in” with all the others. Soon I realized that it didn´t work and it didn´t work because I wasn´t like all the others. I couldn´t stop being me and that meant I could never “fit in” with all the rest. I´ve learned that I must continue to be me and through being me I will find true friends and maybe, hopefully, even somebody that will love me for who I am and want to share the rest of eternity with me. When we decide to be who we are and not what the others want us to be we also must make a choice to accept others for who they are. No one is perfect and we all have little quirks that drive each other crazy. But that makes it fun! We need that to keep life balanced. If we were all the same or liked each other 100% of the time life would be boring. Who loves drama? Well I don´t love it but I do think that it keeps life spicy, full of flavor. Hey, let´s be ourselves and accept each other! We may end up liking each other and being friends.

The Way We Were

January 18, 2010
Wow did I do a god job of picking the movie today!!! So since I watched all the recent movies I bought, I know no blog yet for them, I decided to watch one of my own tonight. I actually had bought this movie because it was 1. cheap and 2. I´ve heard a lot of really good reviews about it. The funny thing is that I had never seen it yet. I watched “The Way We Were” and boy does it fit right in with my personality and what is going on in my life right now. I feel a great connection to the Barbara Streisand character of Katie. Considering I am Jewish, really I am, it´s nice to see some of the same fight I have in her. We are both very strong willed about our beliefs. We don´t back down in a discussion about any topic like politics, movies, music; you name it. And right now I am having guy issues. I mean, really, would any “knocking on 30´s door”, single, beautiful, strong, girl not be having issues? Some questions that arose while watching this movie were: Are guys really that threatened by strong women?; Is it so wrong to have opinions about everything?; and Why do guys really cheat? I don´t know about you but I think those questions will probably never be answered because it is so hard to find a guy that can be 100% honest. Really that is the deep root of the problem. Guys are not 100% honest with women. Which brings on yet another one word question: Why? I think that deep down men are afraid. Yes afraid. They are just as vulnerable as us women but only because since the dawn of time they have been portrayed as tough, strong, independent, almost emotionless beings and they haven´t been able to get away from that. On the other hand it is natural for a woman to be weepy, moody, defenseless, and dependent. So of course when anyone plays against type, like emotional men or strong women, eyebrows are arched and questions raised against them. Also it is hard for us to understand what happened when this occurs in our presence. For me I get to see the emotional side of men right before they snap back into their “normal” frame of existence and cease to be the wonderful, sweet, cute and adorable creatures I grow to love. Yes they stop being what I love and turn into the creature that is selfish, dishonest (a better term is hypocritical), and male. I stop being the strong, independent, happy women and turn into the typical weepy, moody, defenseless and dependent girl again that is the best friend to all those guys looking for someone they can not be themselves with. My “relationships” end up like Katie and Hubbell´s with a polite “I still love you” look after not seeing each other for a few years. Even though in my world that happens after just a few days, ooohhh lucky me!!! Really though the main thing I learned from this movie is the importance to be who you are and not change for anyone or anything in the world. Katie never did. Heck she was still at it while the credits were rolling. So to all those guys (or for that matter people in general) that have maybe thought, or said that Melanie Rivers is too strong and needs to be more quiet, introverted, or subordinate I have to say sorry. I will never change. I will always be the same funny, loud, cute, extremely extroverted, silly, moody, trusting, honest person I have been since I was born but with a better self-esteem.

Julie and Julia

January 16, 2010
Since I came home from The States after spending Christmas there, much has happened in my life. One thing that has given me the strength to revamp this blog is watching the movie “Julie and Julia”. It is about the great cook Julia Child and an otherwise ordinary woman, like me, Julie Powell and how their lives changed. I think I would have to write for days to explain the connection I felt to this movie and, since I really don´t have that much time, I have decided to at least try and write everyday. Julie Powell decided to start a blog to give her something worthwhile to do and decided to follow the cookbook of Julia Child. These two women took food and writing to help them get through tough times in their lives. Now because I don´t have tons of money to spend on food to cook I have decided to write about a passion of mine which is watching movies. This is cheap and I definitely can watch movies often and then blog about how they make me feel or even just give my review. I know no one will care but I think I will be able to give myself something to help me get through this New Year without have a nervous break down or doing something rash. Of course the first movie would be “Julie and Julia”. It is so inspiring obviously since I am writing this now. I think the acting was great. How could it not be?? You have Meryl Streep and Amy Adams. Two women who are very empowering and bright lights in an otherwise dismal lighting store, aka Hollywood. I mean we really don´t have a lot of great actresses to choose from but they are among the best. I have loved all their movies they have been in and probably will be in. Then we have their supporting actors because really the girls are the leads in this movie and the men are just there to support. Still, they are great. Stanley Tucci is just an amazing man. Even with his small features and bald head you can´t help but love him. I know that sounds superficial, even though I am not a superficial person, but I try to speak honestly and the truth is not many people would be attracted to a man who looked like that but some are. I think he is very adorable. Please don´t take offense Stanley or any man reading this that looks like that, which I don´t there will be any. The actor that plays Amy´s husband is just cute even though I don´t know who he is I hope to see more of him in the future. All I can say about this movie that I haven´t already said is how much I loved it and how everyone should get it and watch it and learn from it. Here´s to a new year full of bright hopes and possible dreams. If Julia Child was so optimistic in life I think I can at least try to be a tenth of what she was and look forward with much hope to what might happen, that´s great, this year. So forget what has happened in the past 16 days of the New Year and on to the next 349 days ahead full of mystery, pleasure and happiness and, I´m sure, problems, heart ache and failure. Because we cannot have one without the other, life wouldn´t “work” if we did.

Twilight

Almost forgot...went and saw New Moon and loved it!!! Can´t wait for the next movie!! Love Edward...especially everything he says to Bella but I also love Jacob...he is way more buff and I do love the dark skinned boys more than the pale ones...oh its soooooo hard to choose!!!

I´m exhausted

Wow!! A lot can happen during the time you forget to stop in and blog about life. So last I blogged it was in September and now it´s December. I´ve moved, got a boyfriend, got dumped, got my hair choppped off and now the semester is over and it´s vacation time. Yah that´s the sum of it all. So at the beginning of October I was told by the lady I was living with that I needed to move out because she thought I was a Lesbian...dead serious here people...and I know...me a lesbian??? Ok now that you all have had a good laugh let´s move on. So I moved into an apartment/house. It´s basically an apartment but I call it a house because it has three big bedrooms, kitchen, living room, dinning room and a huge full floor patio upstairs. It´s really nice. Right now I live here by myself and have lived here since October 15th. But my best friend Mariela will be moving in when I get back from the states in January. So then this boy that I met at the temple, oh I´m a temple worker now and love it!!!, and I started dating and I was way excited because he was awesome and everything I had hoped for. We had met back in August when I saw him in the temple and then tried to meet him and find out who he was. Well I did and three months later he was my boyfriend and I thought we would live happily ever after but no he decided he wasn´t ready after only a week...I know it was only a week...and he broke up with me. Now I get literally sick to my stomach upon seeing him and I have to fight back the throw up...hope the visual isn´t too bad. So now I am playing it safe not even thinking about anybody and just trying to get over the stupid boy that broke my heart and soul. Stupid boys do they even realize what they do to us???? So three days after he broke up with me, about three weeks ago, I did something drastic. I chopped my hair all off, well not all, I didn´t go Britney Spears on yall. But it is the shortest it´s been in 8 years. Think Victoria Beckam. I love it!! A lot more then I thought I would. And I must say I look awesome!!! So here I am with a new hair do and feeling great and the semester will be over this week at school and Saturday I´m on my way to Los Angeles where I will be till the 31st. Looking forward to being state side for a while. Going to see if I visit people in other states since I have the benefits of having a Dad that works for Delta. So that´s it in a nut shell!!! Hope everyone has an amazing Christmas if I don´t post before then. Love yall!!

Guatemala Independence Day and being sick

So the 15th was Guatemalan´s Independence Day. It was a lot of fun. I spent the whole day at the church stake center with the other young single adults from my stake. We got Pizza Hut..yes they have Pizza Hut here. I played volleyball and had a lot of fun with the guys. I was so sore the day after because I haven´t played in so long. After we danced and I went home about 6pm. What a long day!!! But way fun!! If you want to see pictures go to my facebook page. I´ve been sick for two weeks now and on friday I decided I was not going to work because I hurt everywhere and I couldn´t breath. I went to the doctor´s and she told me I had a lung infection!!! Yah for me!! So I´m pretty upset with the school becuase Guatemalan law states that if a teacher is really sick they are supposed to send them home. Well they wouldn´t let me go home and for two weeks I worked and now I have an infection. Argh!!! So I´m taking my antibiotics and praying that I feel better. It´s been really boring staying at home all day friday and today, saturday, and all I have is facebook and whomever wants to chat. On Wednesday I went to a soccer game for what´s called 90 minutes against violence. The players were national league, local leagues, political leaders and big wig business people from the capital, where I live. It was pretty cool. My first game here in guatemala. So even though the week was pretty cool it did end up sucking with me getting this infection. Oh well. Cest la vie as the French say.

New news

Well since my lasst post a few things have been happening. I moved in with a sister from my new ward in Mixco. Its a suburb of Guatemala City and it is definately more my style. Not that I´m dissing on anyone that lives in Carretera a El Salvador. This sister is really nice and she is a widow. I live furthur away from the school but I don´t mind it at all. I live closer to my friends and have a ward that is really awesome. I met with my bishop yesterday and he really made me feel like he is looking out for me. I am going to become a worker at the temple and I am so excited. I already go every Saturday after the university and this way I will feel even better serving the wonderful people at the temple. There have been a few dances with the young single adults and they have been fun. Nothing too important to report from them. I did meet a young man that was working at the temple and he is so nice. He even asked me for my number!!! Yay!!! But he hasn´t called. Oh well!! He is really nice though. School hasn´t been too bad. Actually last Saturday was really nice. Very relaxing and not too much work. I actually felt like I was learning something. Tomorrow is the Independence Day for Guatemala so I don´t have to work...yay!!! My first one here. I´m very excited. Also I will be coming home to Idaho for Christmas and I can´t wait!! Even though it will be freezing cold I am excited to see everyone!!

What I´ve Been Up To

Well its been awhile since I posted, not that I haven´t wanted to, so I thought I would take the time right now. It´s almost 1:30 in the morning and since I took a nap this afternoon I´m not tired, that is also the reason why I don´t take naps!!! Augh!!! So school started Aug 3 and I am teaching the 5th and 6th graders. Loving it!! They are really awesome and I realize everyday why I´m here in Guatemala. My friends here are really awesome, especially my best friend Mariela. I just got back from the weekend in Suchitepequez and I hung out with two guy friends Franz and Leonel. They were fun. We went and saw G.I. Joe which was totally awesome!!!

I also saw The Proposal last week and loved it!!

Ryan Reynolds is super hot!!!!I also have seen recently the new Harry Potter and it got me so excitedfor the next ones to come. The next movie I look forward to is New Moon in November.

Although I am sure I will go see a movie between now and then. Also I am going to school here and it is very hard. The university here is very different from university in the states. Lots more work!!!!! The teachers think we learn better my repeating everything we learned that day and writing a report about it. I don´t but if I want to graduate I have to pass my classes and that means I have to do the work. Augh!!! I am excited about coming home in December for three weeks!!! Can´t wait to buy my tickets!!! I´m holding out for the free tickets I will be getting thanks to my Dad´s job but its not 100% guaranteed so if they don´t come by October I will be buying them. Oh well. Well that is what´s up in a nutshell. I have some new photos but I will post them later when it´s not 1:30 in the morning and I want to go to bed. Oh I did want to say that I am watching this new show on Lifetime, I love internet because I can watch shows from the states, and it´s called Drop Dead Diva.

It´s absolutely wonderful and I recommend it to anyone!!! It´s hard to wait till the next Sunday for the next episode!!!

Las Colinas...friends from Guatemala

Ok so here are some pictures of when we went to the church owned camp grounds. It´s called Las Colinas. I´m with a lot of my friends from Guatemala. I´ll have more pictures soon.


Our group. My neck hurt after that!!

Me, Jose(one of many), and Annaby.
Our group.


Me and Annaby.
Me, Meda, Morales, Mariela and Jasmin. In this one we are at a dance. All but Morales served in the Honduras Tegucigalpa Mission.

Weekly Email #4

How is everyone doing this fine June day?? I hope you all are great. So it´s still raining here in Guatemala...and will be for the next few months but doing the sun is out and it´s beautiful. So school is out till August but I am still here till the 26th. I won´t be teaching summer school since they canceled the class I was going to teach. I´m not too sad as I am looking for to the vacation. I´ve been having fun going to dances and hanging out with my friends here. I also have been going to movies...I do this a lot...well I did it a lot even when I was in the states. Last night I saw the cute movie UP. You that have little ones should take them to see it. Oh I went to a wedding last week and caught the boquet. I think I am very good at this as it has happened two times this year and alot when since I was a young girl. So much for the promise that your the ¨next one¨. Well I don´t have much else to tell you all so I hope that you have a great week and take care. Love you all!!!

Weekly Email #3

I hope all of you are doing good and enjoying the summer. Here in Guatemala it is the rainy season and therefore it rains alot. Living in the capital during this time is not fun because it is a cold rain and not a warm rain like in the south where I have always come to visit. But all the same the farmers need the rain for there crops that are very important to this country. So for the last couple of weeks I have not been able to leave the house except for school as my car has been on the outs. But!!!! I had it fixed yesterday and I am so happy!!! I can now go visit my friends! So the first thing I did was go spend almost the whole night with a family of one of my guy friends. They finally let me go home at 11pm!! But I love them and they are fun! The end of the year here at the school is coming fast but I may be working during summer vacation giving summer school. I´m not too sad as I really wasn´t going to do anything other than sleep. So now I can make some money only giving a couple classes each day. I still don´t know if it is for sure but I will let you know. Other than these events there really isn´t much else to share. I love all of you and hope that you are happy and doing well. Take care and I hope to see some of you soon!!!!

Weekly letter #2

Dear Family & Friends,

I hope everyone is doing well wherever they may be. I missed sending out my update last week so there will be alot to mention in this email.

As I had mentioned before we had a Young Single Adult activity two weekends ago that was alot of fun. It was at a campground that the church owns north of the capital. It is huge! For those that know Pinetop in Idaho City it is about 3 or 4 times the size. President Clark the Area President came and spoke to us. He is a very nice man. Then we had activities, lunch and a dance. I am glad I went because I made a lot of new friends.

The last two weeks in school was great because I have been teaching a group of 1st graders. They are a lot of fun and I really enjoy that age group. Actually I like all the age groups. For me they are all really great! This week I will start with the 4th graders. It should be interesting. I went and saw Wolverine with a friend and absolutly loved it!!!!! Can't wait for the Deadpool sequel.

The following weekend I went to a wedding of the sister of a friend of mine and had a blast. Met new friends again!! My group of friends is growing and guess what???... they are all guys! I have a lot of guy friends and it is a bit frustrating. But when you have lemons make lemonade!! So this last weekend I went to Xela becuase they were having a dance there and I made more new friends...guys! Hahaha. But I had a lot of fun and I was able to see Mariela and the rest of the family. Also I received three letter from the states. One from my friend in Utah which was actually her wedding announcement but nonetheless I was happy to have it. Also I got the birthday card from Dad and Gramama with the pictures. Thanks!!! It only takes a week or less for the mail to get here but then it travels to Suchitepequez and since I'm not there I have to wait till I can go get it. As soon as I have an address here that I can use I will let you know. Until then keep sending stuff to the adress I have given out. And if you don't have it and want it let me know!!

I finally have an official calling as the area institute teacher. Augh! Can you believe it? When they called me I couldn't believe it but I have really enjoyed it.

Hopefully, though I will be able to get my car fixed, the brakes, or I won't be going anywhere since I live on the far outskirts of town. Hopefully I will be able to do that tomorrow because I can't drive my car due to the horrible grinding noise!!! How annoying!

Well, life is continuing on as I sit here typing and I must go. I hope all of you know how much I love you and pray for you. Take care!!!

Melanie

Weekly Letter #1

Hello to all my family and friends!!

I have decided to be better about letting eveyone know how I am doing since phone calls are way too expensive. You may get a phone call for your birthday, that is if I have a phone number and birthday for you. So if you are on this list please feel special and know that I am thinking of you all.

First of all I want to wish a very special birthday to my sister Mariah and neice Abby whose birthdays are today. I wish I could call you today but alas I have no minutes so it will have to be next week.

For those who may not know or who have forgotten I am living in Guatemala in the capital of Guatemala City teaching English at a school called The Village School. Right now I am with 1st and 2nd graders and it is wonderful!! I will be going to the University here in July to get my Professorship in English Degree. It is not a PhD but it is equivalant to a teaching degree especially for English. Lets just say it will be the easiest degree I've ever gotten, oh wait I don't have a degree in anything, hehehe. It's requiered for me to teach here so I am doing it.

So last weekend I went to Xela with my best friend Mariela. It was nice to get out of the city for a couple days. We went to an activity for the young single adults and had a really good time. I danced with my friends there to every type of music including the Macarena!! Yah silly huh? Then on Sunday there was a fireside at the institute and they asked me to say the closing prayer. It was all of a sudden and I was not expecting it. The institute director requested me specifically, I thought it was funny.

So this week at school has been crazy with the outbreak of the swine flu. We haven't gotten any "confirmed" cases yet but with our proximaty to Mexico people are very nervous and paranoid. I think we need to just remember that our Heavenly Father knows more than us and to place our trust in Him. Please don't worry about me because that is not healthy and may lead to other sickness. I am fine and have faith that we will all come out of this just fine. School ends today this week because tomorrow is Guatemala's Labor Day. So yah!!!

Because of Labor Day tomorrow there will be an activity for the Young Single Adults in all of the capital and an area in El Salvador. We will be going to what is called the Colinas de Chimaltenango. It is an area the church has bought for members to use as in Girl's Camp and the Young Men's camp, they don't have Boy Scouts here. So we will be going where we will hear from our Area President Elder Clark and then there will be games and then a lunch afterwards there will be a dance!!! I'm always up for a dance. I invited some friends some Xela and I am hoping they will be able to come.

Oh and news about my ward. It is not an official calling yet and I am hoping it doesn't become so because it makes me very nervous. But the Relief Society has asked me to accompany them in our class. So lots of prayers that I will be able to play will be most welcome.

I hope you all are doing very well and I just want you to know that I love you very much!!! Take care and throw me an email sometime to let me know you are doing well also. This should hopefully be a weekly thing as long as my life doesn't get too boring.

Love you all!!!

Melanie Rivers

New posts

So I am going to post two emails that I sent to family and friends and all future ones as well. I think it might be easier to keep this site updated. And as soon as I can I will get some new photos up so you can all see how much I have changed....its not alot. Also something that happened that I did not write about was the passing of my Grandma Rivers. So both grandparents on the Rivers side have passed this year and it is very hard to think when I come home to visit in December they won´t be there. At least I have the gospel!!

OMGosh...has it been that long????

Ok so I can´t believe that it has been this long since I last wrote. How horrible!! Ok so quick update. I am still in Guatemala and loving it!!!! I am now in the capital teaching at The Village School and loving it. I am working with 1st and 2nd graders right now. I was in Malacatan for a couple months but that didn´t work out...for the best! So I turned 29 on the 7th of April and its just so hard for me to believe it. It was a great birthday and my first, finally, in Guatemala. I was able to go to the Temple and do a session. It was amazing becuase I was able to feel the prescence of my dearly departed Grandpa Rivers that passed away on the 1st of April. So I have been on one date.....yah for me, right? He is a nice guy and maybe we will go out again. Since watching the movie ¨Maybe he´s just not that into you¨ I have learned not to be too overbearing. It´s not that I din´t know that before but it sure helps to have a good kick in the pants as a reminder. So I am learning French and hopefully will be going to Paris, France in December. Ok so I don´t know what else to say and hopefully I will get some pictures up soon and I will try to be better at letting you know what´s going on in my life here in the country of the Eternal Spring. Oh yah while all you suckers were enjoying??? the snow and cold I was having a great time in wonderful weather. Don´t be too jealous!

Chocolate, Panan and Christmas

Well for those of you who read my last blog I am feeling better and I´m not so sad. Things have been fun here. Even though I am still looking for a job and school here doesn´t start till January I have kept myself preocupied. I learned how to make chocolate from the Cocoa seed. It´s so cool and very yummy. I´ll think about sharing the recipe....just kidding. It´s very easy but time consuming. So you have to break open the pod and take the white stuff off the seeds. You can eat the white stuff but I don´t like it. Then you have to let the seeds ferment for 2 days. Then you dry the seeds in the sun for 2-3 days. Then they are ready to toast in a frying pan. Then you have to take the shell off of them and then you get to grind them adding cinnamon, vanilla, peanuts and sugar. Pretty much thats it. You can use this so make hot chocolate or just eat it. It´s not as bitter as dark chocolate but not as sweet as milk chocolate. It´s just good. I´ll post pictures as soon as I get my camera back, its in the capital.

So I´ve been spending alot of time with a family in Panan. It´s a little town about 20min by bus outside of San Antonio. This family has a nephew they want me to marry. He is very nice and a return missionary. We´ll see how it goes. I´ll keep you all updated. Oh and his name is Josue which in English is Joshua.

So here is my Christmas picture. I am very excited about this picture because I have gone down one size in my clothing. I don´t know how much weight but I am excited to know it´s happening for me. Finally after all the gyms and diets in the states and after only 1 1/2 months of living here and I´m losing weight!!!! Yah!!!!

Me and my best friend Mariela.

Christmas was good. We ate Turkey and Tamales and mashed potatoes and salad. It was good. Here though they celebrate at midnight on the 24th. So I felt like a glutton but oh well. On the 25th I went and visited the family in Panan. We went swimming in the river that is in front of their house. I can´t complain it was a good week. Oh and last night we had a Young Single Adult dinner and dance and it was fun too. I´ll post more pictures soon and I´ll try to take more pictures as I lose weight!!! Merry Christmas to all and a very Happy and Prosperous New Year!

Life´s Little Wonders

So here I am in Guatemala. Land of the Book of Mormon. Land of the Eternal Spring. Shouldn´t I be happy? I broke up with my boyfriend of six months. That´s the longest I have been with anybody ever. I did it because i wanted him to focus on going on a mission. But then I couldn´t stop thinking about him and i felt i had made a serious mistake. well lo and behold he doesn´t care for me anymore. i guess that makes things easier but it seems harder now. i always thought of him as my back up plan...is that too harsh? that maybe if i couldn´t find anyone else he would always be there because he was the first one to say I Love You. It took me a little longer. now i´m worried that i will end up alone with no family, no children. i read all my friends blogs and see how happy they all are. they all have been married for awhile and have their family, their kids. sometimes i wonder if i´m being punished for some reason. also i wonder...should i just settle? whomever the next one is that says or acts like they like me do i just settle so i can have something and hope that one day i´ll love him? Augh!!!!!!!! I´m so tired of waiting, hoping, and praying that MY DAY will come. Then there are personal things going on that cause me to think did I make the right decision? Everytime I think it´s the spirit telling me what to do have I been wrong? Am I so alone in this world that even Heavenly Father has left me? Why couldn´t MY LIFE have been easy? Why did I have to be the good daughter and make correct choices when they haven´t brought me anything eternally speaking. I´m literally alone, confused, and wonder if somewhere along the line I made a terrible mistake. Should I have not gone on a mission? Should I have not come to visit that first time here in Guatemala where I fell in love with this country and it´s people? Should I have given that first guy in Boise a chance when he wanted to date me? Should I have said yes that first time a guy from my mission asked me to marry him when I first came here to Guatemala? Should I stop asking Heavenly Father what to do and just do whatever I want? Sigh. Why does Christmas time always seem so sad for me?! Sigh.

I fell.....hard!

So here I am in Guatemala looking for a job. Granted it is a little hard because here everything is a little slower and this is about the time that many places are going on vacation for the holidays. So I've been staying with my friend/latina sister-in-law and by latino brother the last couple of weeks. It's been great getting to know her better and also being able to help her since she is pregnant....due in February. Well the downside is that there isn't much to do. We do a lot of talking and sometimes go visit an investigator here in the ward. Other than that we really don't have internet during the day either...very lucky that I'm writing this right now. So I just so happened to have the first Twilight book that I had barely gotten into. So I brought it up from my car where it's been since I left for Guatemala. Well she, Shawnette, starting reading it and was getting through it fast! So I decided I should see what all the fuss is about and it would also give me something to do. I read the first one in ONE day. I stayed up all night, well till 1am reading it. Crazy right??? Well if you knew me maybe you wouldn't think so too much. So at the end of Book 1 there is a clip of Book 2. I just fell so fast!!! I loved it and wanted to read Book 2 NOW!! The only problem is...well maybe more than one problem...I don't have money and I'm in Guatemala. There are books here but who knows if they are more expensive or if I could even find it in English. We thought about waiting till her Mom comes in February for the baby but I knew I wouldn't be able to wait. So.....don't think to badly about me....I downloaded the next three from the internet. I read the second book in ONE day and now I am on book THREE. I can't put it down....except to sleep or write this. Now I understand this craziness. We are planning on trying to see the movie for Christmas with all our latina sisters. I'll let you all know.